Sunday, July 22, 2012

That night

Day 3 of my Bday month in the year that I turned 22. I was invited to worship evening,so I invited 2. Most of that day was routine that I can't really recall. Excitement and expectancy filled my lungs as I walked in. I yearned for an encounter with God, once again. That night when I screamed for Jesus until I couldn't breathe anymore, I realized what it meant to give God His breath back. I stopped focusing on my troubles and what I lack. I ran towards Him and leaped into His arms. He caught me. In that moment I knew I was safe. I felt secure. I was loved. I was cared for. I was home.

Something happens...

I hear it. I feel it. It's more than just a song. Everything inside me knows there is so much more to it than the sound of the guitar or the arrangement of the notes. Something happens in the spiritual realm that my human brain cannot begin to understand or fully comprehend. My spirit and His Spirit sing to each other. A song that leaves me breathless. A cry comes from deep within and my heart is soothed. Burden falls from my shoulders and my feet start tapping a rhythm of joy. It's like water quenching my deepest thirst. He and I connect. In that moment, I know I am His. I know that He holds me in His arms. I feel His touch,His love...and I can't help but dance!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

My Soliloquy on Friendships

At any point, the word 'friendship' can be replaced with the word 'relationship'. I just chose to be specific to friendships.

Fairly recently,someone said to me:"A good way to measure a friendship is if you like who you are when you are around the people". This left me pondering alot on the saying that I used to loathe when I was a teenager(not so long ago): "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are!". See, this phrase haunted me because although I loved my friends at the time, I wouldn't have picked any of them to be an all-round representative of who I was. Sure we liked the same music, dressed similarly and maybe had the same hobbies but our lifestyle choices and general attitude towards life were different. So naturally, knowing this, I would be the first to disagree with this statement. Truth is, while I love and cherish my friends from back then,ours was mostly a friendship of convenience. This might sound harsh, but that is not at all my heart.

Now, years later(I'm still 22 though),I look back and I cant help but agree with and be challenged by this statement. Mostly,because its now painfully obvious to me that you can't spend so much time with someone and not pick up things from them. These "things" can range from lingo to entire ideologies. I have no idea how many times I have caught myself using a phrase that a friend of mine uses or suddenly finding myself taking a liking to certain food that they like. As we spent time with people, they somehow start to become a part of us. We influence each other in deeper ways than we realise.This has challenged me in so many ways. I wont lie, I was even deeply conflicted at some point. This kind of epiphany makes one want to start examining their friendships or more specifically their friends.

This is not to say that one must pick friends that are exactly like them because that would be both impossible and extremely boring. No two people are clones, not even twins. [Side note: I have cousins that are twins. They are sooo the same, yet sooo different.] What I have come to learn,however,is that in the end one needs to have friends who share the same convictions.If we are not on the same path or running the same race, we definitely won't understand each other's tribulations nor will we be able to steer each other in the relevant direction. In times when I lose sight of the bigger picture, I need a friend who can remind me again of all the things that are important in the long run. Otherwise what are we doing? Just passing time?

I once read a facebook status update that said:"Staying friends with your ex, is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it.". Disclaimer: I neither support nor reject this statement. But I did realise though that sometimes friendships can also be like dogs that have long been dead but we keep dragging them around with the hopes of reviving them. And then we get frustrated at the dog for not running around with you and fulfilling that role that it used to. But truth is, its not the dogs fault. This challenged me so much, its not even funny(Another phrase I'm sure I picked up from a friend). The sad and painful truth is that people and circumstances change and people grow apart. Some friendships are only for a season and dragging them past their expiry date just makes the break up more painful. Friends do break up.

I have also heard that the best vitamin for friendship is B1. This means that one must be the kind of friend that they so want to have. See, this made me think of the time when I cringed at the thought of "show me your friends...". My immediate response at the time was a me-response. I never once thought "Am I a good reflection of my friends? Do I represent them well?".

I do understand,though,that there are different levels of friendships(I sometimes even I think I use the term too lightly). The ones that I(since this is mainly a soliloquy)focus on are what I would call "The people I do life with".

But ya(<--this is the phrase I use to wrap up all statements I make), I'm still young and I am learning.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


So it seems that a lot of people around me think that I'm this together,sensible,know-what-I-doing kind of person. I probably(both,intentionally and unintentionally) make a great contribution to this perception. Truth is,though, that half the time(Ok,MOST of the time)I have no idea what the heck I'm doing! I find myself asking "Lord,what am I doing?" so many times a day. "Should I have done that?" "What am I gonna do about that?" are regulars on my 'Questions to God' list.

But here's something that gives me peace...Grace! God's grace means that even if I don't deserve for things to go well, somehow they just do. Even when I make mistakes(which often have consequences), there's a deep well full of mercy and grace from which God draws and pours out on me everyday. No matter what the situation I have gotten myself into, God redeems it and puts me back in line with His "plans to prosper me"(Jer 29:11). I may not know what I'm doing a lot of the time, but because God is on the driver's seat,I'm not worried!

Friday, September 2, 2011

I'm thinking [Jesus]

I'm thinking Jesus is a poet
He has such a way with words
He IS the word

The word that became flesh
The word that was in the beginning
The word that is spoken to me,
When I describe him, I run out of words

I'm thinking Jesus is a compass
He gives direction and shows me the way
He IS the way

The way I chose to model my life
The way to my salvation
The way and the door to the Father,
To describe Him,I run out of ways

I'm thinking Jesus is the answer
The answer to all of life's questions
See, the other ones are false but HE is true
He IS the truth

The truth that through Him, I am righteous
The truth that breaks the chains that binds us
The truth that he died on the cross for us
All lies in my life are nullified, for I now know the truth

Im thinking Jesus is the one
The one who came, showed us love so that we may have life
He IS the life

The life that I came into when God's breath met dust
The life of abundance that became available when he came for us
The life that we are graced with when we accept the cross
The life that we can now live, full of love!

I'm thinking the words: way, truth and life(along with other words) can all be replaced with one word...THE Word

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Its love, not condemnation

Often I stop myself from saying things because i dont want to come across as being judgemental. I dont want to be because I dont know what the person has been through, their current situation or why they choose to make a certain decision. I havent 'walked a mile in their shoes' so who am i to judge their decision making?

But then i ask myself, if you love people are you not the prone to want to help them? If someone is lost and you know the way, dont you show it to them? If a man is blind and they need to cross the street, dont you lend them your eyes?

I came across an article on the internet that gave me more clarity and relief. Greg Laurie wrote about how christians are always being told by others that scripture says "Do not judge" he corrects this by saying that we are actually being told not to condemn.

Judgement(in the form of advice) and condemnation are two different things. When the pharisees brought the prostitute woman to Jesus wanting him to order her death, he said "Let he who has no sin, cast the first stone" and then when no one cast a stone he said to her "Does no one condemn you? Neither do i" but he doesnt stop there, he then also says "Go and sin no more."

The pharisee's wanted to condemn the woman and make her feel like she is a dirty,useless and deserves death. Jesus gave her an opportunity for a better life, a life where she chooses a different path than the one she has been on. From where im standing, that is not a bad thing.

Yes, I understand that not forcing your opinions/views on another is part of loving people. But love also compels me to speak up and tell you the oven is hot, before you put your hand in it. It compels me to tell you to 'turn right' if i know that turning left will lead you to a dead end.

Now i'm not a know-it-all or a perfect person(who is?). I just feel that correction which stems from love is vital. If I blindly go about things without perspective, I want those who love me to let me know BEFORE I get hurt. As much as love comforts the brokenhearted ,it also protects! So, yes out of love, I will tell my friend "I don't think thats a good idea"

Monday, August 8, 2011

Love is a revolution (a piece inspired by insomnia:))

Love is a revolution. Heard this in a song and it got me thinking. When i think of a revolution, I think of people fighting for justice and change. I think of the french revolution, where the people were tired of being ruled by the monarchy. They wanted a better life for themselves and for those around them. For this reason they took action and made a change.

People always say love is a feeling and then they fail to describe it. Shakespear wrote an amazing sonnet, on what love is. "It is an everfixed mark which looks upon tempest and is never shaken" he says. To me this shows the fighting spirit of love. By 'fighting', i dont mean violence but persistence, resistance and perseverence.

The world has many views and opinions about what love is, what it looks like and what it does. People have their different experiences and definitions of love. All i know is that we all need it. Alot of what we do everyday, mostly without realising it, stems from our desire and need to be loved and accepted. The only difference is the answer to the question - Who do we desire this acceptance from?

Now back to the title, it seems that Switchfoot is saying love not just something you feel, it calls for action which leads to a change. This sounds like a revolution to me.

Often Ive heard that the love of God changes you. I, personally, have found this to be true. The amount of growth Ive had in my life (and the process is on-going) is incredible. When you encounter the love of God, it stirrs something in you that makes you want to be a better person.

Love is supposed to make you want to dig deep and find the better version of yourself. Its supposed to then be what drives you to make a change in both your own life and the lives of everyone around you. Those who bring love into your life are to challenge you, in a way that motivates you to rise up and make a difference.

I find it incredible how much Our Father loves. God's love is an incredible thing, we just need to encounter it, embrace it and let it change us.